Lolita 52: How lolita has changed me.

Sorry for the late 52 post! I got caught up at work and only realised it's Wednesday in the evening and I had nothing lined up for the day, oops!

This week I randomly drew topic #52, and it is a very heavy one. "How lolita has changed me." (I guess my need to pose with food hasn't changed much at all though, haha!)

It's safe to say lolita has changed me in a multitude of ways, and I think a lot of the friends I've made and the experiences I have would just... Have not happened if I never got into lolita.

For one thing, I had a lot of body issues as a kid. I was underweight for as long as I could remember, and was very short compared to... Well everyone I knew. This led to a lot of criticism from both peers and my parents--always forcing me to eat more or making fun of me for my gangly figure. I wore children's clothes well into high school, when most people had already graduated to "trendier" adult fashions. I was still running around wearing Limited Too stuff (I think now the store has been renamed Justice)!

I only filled out in the last year for the most part, but until then, I struggled to find clothes to fit (don't even get me started on my bra-shopping meltdowns), and hated how I could never get that "sexy" look that most girls aspired for.

When I saw the sizing for most lolita brands, I was stunned. My first response was, "Whoah, clothes made for someone short and puny like me... Clothes that remind me of Cardcaptor Sakura!" And the rest is history.

Finding pretty clothes that fit also led me to really care a lot about myself and embrace my girlier side. Up until that point, I was a huge tomboy who had no interest in wearing make-up or looking pretty. Really, the only thing "girly" about me was my long hair (although thanks to a couple hitches in the road it ended up being short against my will from time to time). I also just had zero confidence.

Really stepping out of my comfort zone and wearing something that I both liked and made me feel beautiful really helped me develop as a person. My first time really going out and wearing lolita in every day life (not including anime conventions) was my freshman year in college. My parents (even somewhat to this day) are not really supportive of my hobbies, so, finally being out of the house with a little bit of my own money to spend, I commissioned a replica of Angelic Pretty's Loving Princess one-piece from Fan+Friend. It's an eyesore now, but I loved it then. It was everything I ever wanted in a dress!

I had two non-lolita friends who supported my fashion choices and cheered me on, and my first trip was to the mall with both of them. We had a great time, and to put the cherry on top, a bunch of kids dressed in scene/punk recognised the style and screamed from nearly half-way across the mall, "LOOK, a gothic lolita!!" We exchanged Facebook URL's after hanging out for most of the night, and it was such a great experience. Thankfully it was a good experience, or my shaky confidence would have probably made me turn give up immediately.

Oh my goodness, I actually found a picture of the outfit from within the depths of my Facebook. @3@ It's a bit embarrassing to look at now, haha! I remember pouring hours and hours of effort into the crown I wore here. Wowowow, 17-year-old me.

But lolita has really changed me--I have more of a "no fucks given" attitude, and I met so many great friends through the fashion that I am still in touch with today! I guess being so open with your "weirdness" really gets you some long-lasting friends, and I'm thankful for that.

Hope you all have a wonderful rest of the month! I'm finally going back home and next week is going to be packed! I have a photoshoot and a lot of meet-ups planned for next week, hopefully you will see the fruits of all that in the future! I use Instagram and Twitter pretty often, so check me out there for more real-time updates.

Check out my other topics under the "Lolita 52 Challenge" label!